Anindita Roy: A Journey of Body Positivity and Self-Acceptance

Challenging Societal Norms

Society often imposes harsh judgments on individuals who do not conform to its rigid weight standards. This scrutiny is frequently overt and can come from those closest to us. Anindita Roy, a plus-size influencer from Kolkata, has experienced this firsthand. For years, she longed to live freely without facing comments or being defined by her weight. “I was always fat,” she recalls. “I was thin as a child, but by the age of nine or ten, I began to gain weight.” This shift led to a gradual accumulation of external judgments, with strangers commenting on her body by the time she was just 11 or 12. On public transport, people would address her mother instead, asking, “Why don’t you do something for her?” Her mother would respond firmly, “I know what’s best for my child. You are not feeding her; I am.”

Despite her mother's protection, Anindita faced scrutiny outside the home. Moving frequently due to her family's job, she encountered a persistent small-town mentality where bodies became subjects of public discussion. One incident stands out: after falling while heading to tuition, a nearby woman laughed. Anindita's mother confronted her, asking, “Why are you laughing? Would you laugh if it were your child?” Anindita understood that the laughter was not about her fall but about her body.

Institutional Scrutiny and Personal Struggles

By her late 20s, the scrutiny had become systemic. During a matrimonial inquiry, a blunt question was posed to her mother: how fat is your daughter? Her mother refused to reduce Anindita to a mere number, stating, “If you care about her education and manners, come and meet her. If you like her, you like her.” Anindita reflects, “Even an XL was considered fat back then; today it’s termed curvy. Back then, it was shame.” Her weight fluctuated over the years, influenced by life events rather than mere discipline. Following her father's death during her post-graduation, she faced financial difficulties and began skipping meals, unintentionally losing weight.

Later, after relocating to Gurugram for work, her weight increased again. “Living alone and working, you start eating differently, ordering whatever is available,” she explains. This constant external scrutiny eventually turned inward, leading to feelings of inadequacy. “People keep commenting on your weight,” she says. “Many women face hormonal issues and PCOS. I was deeply affected until I turned 32.” This discomfort morphed into a damaging belief that she was ugly, as society often equates worth with weight.

Navigating Relationships and Self-Discovery

By her late 20s, this belief had taken root, culminating in a relationship that further distorted her self-image. In 2016, she met a man on a dating app. Initially, the relationship seemed straightforward, with family introductions and expectations of progression. However, emotional distance lingered. “He wouldn’t let me touch him,” she recalls. When she sought clarity, he told her, “You have a pretty face, but an ugly body. That’s why I don’t feel anything.” This statement deeply affected her self-perception.

The relationship spiraled into emotional instability, with cycles of withdrawal and gaslighting. “I thought I was the problem,” she admits, believing that changing herself would resolve their issues. The relationship ended in 2017, leaving her with a reinforced sense of failure. Therapy helped her reshape this narrative, with her therapist affirming, “There is nothing wrong with you. If he cannot answer your questions, that is your answer.”

Embracing Body Positivity

Through social media, Anindita began to rebuild her relationship with her body. In 2017, a colleague encouraged her to share her fashion sense online. Initially hesitant, she posted her first picture, which garnered a few hundred likes. This marked a pivotal shift; for the first time, attention was based on her terms rather than judgment. Previously, she concealed her body, opting for outfits that minimized visibility. However, Instagram became a platform for her to challenge these habits, leading her to experiment with sleeveless clothing and ultimately embrace her body.

Her page, @theplusgirl, now boasts 35.7K followers. A significant turning point came when she was offered a ramp opportunity that required a lingerie shoot. Initially uncomfortable, she chose to do the shoot at a friend's home for familiarity. Posting those images was liberating, marking a release from her long-held fears of visibility. “Once I posted my lingerie pictures, my inhibitions just went,” she reflects. The experience was not about achieving perfection but about reclaiming her right to be seen.

Continuing the Journey

In 2019, she walked the ramp alongside other plus-size women, realizing her story was not unique. However, societal attitudes remained unchanged. After her mother's death in 2021, a relative insensitively suggested she lose weight to get married. Anindita firmly responded, stating she was not in the right mindset to engage but would speak up if it happened again. “There are days when I feel self-conscious,” she admits, “but I remind myself that I like what I am wearing, and I wear it anyway.”

For those burdened by societal expectations, she advises, “No one is paying your bills. You decide how you want to live.”